One day it maybe today or any day
Youll find something that no one else would and youll say it was never there but it just appeared from thin air but how the hell did it come to be and the way the clouds they looked at it like it was one of them like it floated and it cried sometimes but it was fluffy it was pure not like the other clouds just
ever seen before and it was weird at first to see somethibg so unique but it was nice refreshing just like the sun which it passed all the time
You were the petal
The rosy red one that slowly made it to the soil, surrounded by brown mositure, to breathe the brown in gave shaded of green at your root which transcended to the colour of not green and not red
I am writing this for the second time
I lost it the first time
I dont remember the last time
Ironically the time still ticks
Yet I get more and more self aware
The less time spent thinking
The more time decreases
This is my observation
existance is on a thin thread, the part where the thread has been tugged so much its changed its shape; the thread that is something whole but the thread gets thinner and thinner everytime you close your eyes and by the 50th second thread breaks and thread is no longer whole again but thread is still hanging in there still reaching for more and thread still has a long length which goes on forever
lets hope thread can connect its threads
We were 1
Together we made 2
I felt 3
But you felt 4
So you said 5
And then you met 6
But 6 brought out the 7 in you
But you said I 8 you so much
It hurt 9 times more then you said 10
11 days thats how much time past
On the 12th day you kissed
The last 13 lives you had.
Its ben 14 days since the last 15
I spent 16 of them with 17
On the 18th day I
Said goodbye to 19
25 I remember that was the day of my birthday
I spent the last 24 alone
But this one was different
I had 26 people in
All of the 27 rooms I owned
28 of them are in my head
29 was just like you
except less dead.
So what do we say.
What do we do.
The same thing we always do push and believe.
Its been a long time and things have been getting hard; youve been shot time and time again and the wounds get worst.
Deeper and deeper but what is worst is that its been the same bullet everytime and its only shot you once but it like a million at once.
But the bullet will go through and just like you, your wound will heal not matter how hard it seems now it will be okay
The bullet was one of those gold ones, the special ones with the narrow head and slender build
The bullet was beautiful and it implord into figments of particles and so you will you one day
Youll say that everything you’ve been through was beautiful and eveything is already is.
So please beautiful bullet wound me and go through me and heal within me.
Man up. Sure it’s easy to say it but, is it really easy to do it? Man up meaning get the fuck off your ass and face your damn fears. Or in simple terms do everything you won’t be to do in your normal state. I say I could do. I can.
Well I think so but. The root cause of this won’t go away anytime soon. It makes me mad and upset
I don’t want to think about
But it’s always in my damn way
Peace and calm is the only way to walk through it
Well I find myself always running always wanting to get out of it damn
This will be the dumbest one yet. But you are in for a treat. Rememeber that time where I spent 3 or more hours doing random shit. Not really but it was. You. Me. A room. With another person but that doesnt matter at all.
I have to admit I was scared at first then I was fine then I got all in my feelings.
But it was you
I don’t want to think about you.
Theres no point so
This is the most pointless and dumest one yet.
In order to reinvent yourself you must do one thing, strip yourself of what you used to be; there needs to be space for the new. Say your farewells because you kiss a person that you will not go back to. Not ever. Build up someone different; save yourself by killing yourself; bleed the memories of the old so the new scabs cleanse you of all things tragic.