How it will end

I’ll remember it

Just like I remember everything 

What I did and what I said

And what I didn’t say
Who was there and those who weren’t

Making the right decision and making the wrong one
Doing what I want and making the life of my own

time doesn’t exist

I feel like I am just waiting

For something to happen

I don’t know what or when

But I sit here, mind so crystal clear

saying what will happen tomorrow

I’ve planned for every possible out come

 

And the only thing left to do is

just

wait

I don’t feel like I should be doing anything else

All is done

what is left is just to wait

for my sister

From point A to B. Where you left to have the time of your life. To simply say now at this moment I am writing this at one of my lowest points this summer, should I be suprised? Instead of talking to you about everything that happened this summer I will keep it simple. From the point of breaking up from school and to when I started I knew that the friends I have wouldnt last and they went. Thats fine ? I speant the summer doing whats best for myself did the most of what i could and rested when i wanted it was good I felt that this thing helped me to be the best of myself inwas good and life was getting better. Upon arrival to august fear began to itch and remembering the past hurt but it was still good, just staying at home in a bubble speaking to no one outside the bubble and it was all rosies and dasies what  I was waiting for turned out to be twisted coming to the realisation that something twisted and anxeity itched everywhere i go where things that were never a big deal exploed to the point of now coping to the point of now being able to be the flesh a blood that you must be qnd everything went scary and bleak my strength still there but blurred what made it different i question and still now but i’m lost

Cycles

I’ll say it now, too often the past has repeated it self, too many time the same event happen over and over agin and history as we now it is. ow the present and will always be 

which is ironic you see

observations

what i saw was a shimmer of pure energy vibrating from the outskirts of the sky almost blinding to the human eye 

but i looked and i didnt shift, i didnt want to because what i saw was a world with utter humanity which i found ironic 

as everything  and everyone are just pawns in a grand plan and who am i tobe afraid   of what surrounds me 

who the hell made me inclined to react to what i dont want to and why do the the apples on the floor rot while we all sit and smile and nod and stare and speak and chat about people and how people are strange and how we are scared of our selfs so what we do we exert this pain this infliction on to others but those other do

not feel at all so next time you do the rightthing  and from now one you just smile 

sunny days

One day it maybe today or any day 

Youll find something that no one else would and youll say it was never there but it just appeared from thin air but how the hell did it come to be and the way the clouds they looked at it like it was one of them like it floated and it cried sometimes but it was fluffy it was pure not like the other clouds just

nothing

ever seen before and it was weird at first to see somethibg so unique but it was nice refreshing just like the sun which it passed all the time

bright colours

You were the petal

The rosy red one that slowly made it to the soil, surrounded by brown mositure, to breathe the brown in gave shaded of green at your root which transcended to the colour of not green and not red

hand to the next

I am writing this for the second time

I lost it the first time

I dont remember the last time

Ironically the time still ticks

Yet I get more and more self aware

The less time spent thinking

The more time decreases

This is my observation