crushhhh fk

everything was fine 

it was at a distance 

easy to go futher 

so far that you are out

but something happened 

and now

back

to

square

1

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never ending

Haven’t spoken in a while

Things are different now

Well I think they are

I say this because 

I’m learning more and more

Seeing things more and more 

How it will end

I’ll remember it

Just like I remember everything 

What I did and what I said

And what I didn’t say
Who was there and those who weren’t

Making the right decision and making the wrong one
Doing what I want and making the life of my own

time doesn’t exist

I feel like I am just waiting

For something to happen

I don’t know what or when

But I sit here, mind so crystal clear

saying what will happen tomorrow

I’ve planned for every possible out come

 

And the only thing left to do is

just

wait

I don’t feel like I should be doing anything else

All is done

what is left is just to wait

for my sister

From point A to B. Where you left to have the time of your life. To simply say now at this moment I am writing this at one of my lowest points this summer, should I be suprised? Instead of talking to you about everything that happened this summer I will keep it simple. From the point of breaking up from school and to when I started I knew that the friends I have wouldnt last and they went. Thats fine ? I speant the summer doing whats best for myself did the most of what i could and rested when i wanted it was good I felt that this thing helped me to be the best of myself inwas good and life was getting better. Upon arrival to august fear began to itch and remembering the past hurt but it was still good, just staying at home in a bubble speaking to no one outside the bubble and it was all rosies and dasies what  I was waiting for turned out to be twisted coming to the realisation that something twisted and anxeity itched everywhere i go where things that were never a big deal exploed to the point of now coping to the point of now being able to be the flesh a blood that you must be qnd everything went scary and bleak my strength still there but blurred what made it different i question and still now but i’m lost

Cycles

I’ll say it now, too often the past has repeated it self, too many time the same event happen over and over agin and history as we now it is. ow the present and will always be 

which is ironic you see

observations

what i saw was a shimmer of pure energy vibrating from the outskirts of the sky almost blinding to the human eye 

but i looked and i didnt shift, i didnt want to because what i saw was a world with utter humanity which i found ironic 

as everything  and everyone are just pawns in a grand plan and who am i tobe afraid   of what surrounds me 

who the hell made me inclined to react to what i dont want to and why do the the apples on the floor rot while we all sit and smile and nod and stare and speak and chat about people and how people are strange and how we are scared of our selfs so what we do we exert this pain this infliction on to others but those other do

not feel at all so next time you do the rightthing  and from now one you just smile